"She compliments my SWAGG~" who wore it better?!

I wish I could relate to something...

When I'm not overloaded I find myself searching through numerous unnecessary cable channels in search of a down to earth show that I can relate to. This has been hard lately with cable television's dwindling efforts towards delivering a respectable show starring African Americans. Yes, its great that we have BET and TV One... but with all the numerous re-runs of "Martin" and "The Cosby's", has-beens of the 90's and 80's guilt-free television alongside subjective and disturbing episodes of BET's "Tiny and Toya", where has today's inspiring Black television gone? Today's networks percieve Black's in an over the top way in which can be understandable to the small percentage of the struggling black community, and entertaining to the already judgemental White America. Doesn't it seem ironic that our television for the Black community was more realistic and entertaining in time periods where our people were struggling the most? (i.e-"Good Times", "The Jefferson's",etc.) We realistically have come so far as a people as we have elected a politician of our own race into the white house and sit in higher positions as CEO's, journalists, and brokers in mainstream white America. So where is the present image I can relate to? It doesn't add up~

Fashion Icon: Zoe Zaldana

Zoe's taste in fashion is fire. Its suttle yet keen and seductive. With the building of her career, im quite sure we will be seeing more outfit choices from Zaldana...

All eyes on me?

As if relationships aren't hard enough, the media is now making it a goal to expose young and old Hollywood and reality based relationships for all their dirt. Liars and cheaters are being exposed, and any account of abuse whether mental or physical is being placed in every magazine for fans and skeptics alike to see first hand. With all this public frustration revolving around relationships in today's society, can their be any hope for the average couple trying to make it? The truth is relationships are hard; every single one of them. Companionship based on love or money all have secrets and uncertainties about what the future will hold, the only difference among them all is how much either partner is holding back, and how far they will be willing to pursue things before someone gets caught. Yet, like any relationship the only way to survive is through honesty...and if you seek that your man isn't being honest then why not take it upon yourself to get the truth out. I am in no way suggesting spying or checking phones and work accounts, but ladies we have to question our men. If you have sufficiently established something with your partner he wont automatically think of you as being oppressive, but will believe that you care about the future of your happiness together and wish to be informed!

Home-body vs. Party -animal

It's official, summer has hit. Everyone is home from college and has hopefully been able to go back to their old gig, or through this crazy recession find a new 9-5. Yet we are still young and want to go out, whether it be with our girls, guy, or solo. Lets take a stab at the relationship topic once you again and go deeper into the controversial difference between the two types of men: home-body and party animal. You should be able to weed out your type of man by asking him this simple question, "WHAT ARE WE DOING TONIGHT?" If you are involved with a guy who stutters and makes up every excuse in the book as to why you guys should stay in the house EVERY night, you have a home-body on your hands. He never wants to spend money and would rather lay in bed with you all day then be caught anywhere in a 12 meter radius from his house. Some girls are turned on by this type of guy, thinking he just wants to have all of your attention and be alone. But that gets old after a while and a relationship needs exposure to the world and other people in order to breath and survive. The total opposite of this scenario is a guy who will diss you and whoever else in a second to party every single night. Liquor is his right hand man, and he gets dressed to the max every 2 dollar Tuesday. What can you say about this man? Many women who are harboring this type think he has an extremely big ego, and has yet to even think about committing to you in a serious way as long as the club and party hoes are still around. I guess the right answer for every woman would be to try and find her happy medium between the two...good luck :)

Book Review: "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man"

So I was interested about what a man's perspective of a healthy and worthwile relationship would be, so I decided to pick up Steve Harvey's new book. I have mixed reviews about the novel, some of which I totally agree, and other points that I think are absurd. The first concept in the book that came simplest to me was that, Men don't love like Women do. Any woman who has been in a relationship will let you know first hand that this statement is true. Men don't always do all the cutesy and sympathetic things that come natural to women, Harvey says men are more simple and don't need much to be happy. Provide, Profess,and Protect are the three things Harvey describes as the characteristics a man must show you in order to let you know if he really loves you are not. Does he profess and give you the title of girlfriend in public? Does he provide and spend some of his hard earned check on you? Does he protect and hold his own in a situation where somebody has disrespected you? Harvey goes on to tell the three things a man needs, Support, Loyalty, and the Cookie (sex). These things I recognized since I hear them so often come up in relationships. Yet, Harvey's male ego seemed to over power the book somewhat, as he tells his ideas on supporting your man through showering him with self boosting compliments, adoring him. Yea that's good and all, but relationships are 50-50, just because he is a "man" doesn't mean you should lay naked in his glory. Being a woman means being strong and ocassionaly rolling with punches, but dont let your desire to be loved turn into a need to be loved. Stay true to who you are and the perfect man will appreciate you for just that.

Fashion Don't: "The Patchwork Quilt"

This trend of patchwork clothing and accessories is getting out of hand. The over sized plaid shirt, with a cute belt around the waist, and maybe a pair of fashionable boots can do. Yet, tons of girls have taken this rugged trend to a whole new level by wearing plaid dresses, that are way too short, and come in all the different colors of the rainbow imaginable. News Flash: these dresses look cheap and childish. In this era less is more, try letting your natural beauty shine by toning it down a little huh?

"I think I'm the shit"...is that your It- Factor?

So of course we are at that age as young females where image seems to be like number one on our "things to do" list. Yet, it seems to me that many females are trying to make a name for themselves, and are going about it the wrong way. Chicks are getting tattoos with names, wearing mini dresses to class, and selling their bodies to men for nothing. Where do we draw the line between being a happenin female icon versus a modern day flousey. What you look like, and what you have on your back is not gonna land you your dream job. Even if you have this unbelievable talent, being successful requires hard work and focus. Nobody is gonna hand you anything in life, especially in a society were there is always gonna be someone who can possibly do your job better than you. Recently as I started applying for internships in my field, I realized first hand the competition in the industry. Your talents that make you special are just that ..."qualities", but was else? To be truly successful you have to step out of the box and be your own person. Lots of girls can say they are cute...but that's not gonna always pay your bills in a respectable way. Find your It-Factor *

Try This: Bangle Bracelets

I have an obsession with bracelets now, and the chunky ones with prints are really hot right now. Consider this when you start your summer shopping : )

"That's how you like it huh?"

I have come to realize that no matter how independent and self sufficient you might claim to be as a woman, you still want to be catered to. How can you get a man to send you flowers, buy you gifts and tell you he is in love? Ha, after 3 years of being in a relationship I think I have finally got my hands on things : ) For anyone to treat you like a queen you have to act like one, and no that doesn't mean be a bitch. Men admire women who have their own goals, minds, and money. Even after years of being with a guy you still want to keep it fresh, not letting him think that you are supposed to be at his beck and call forever. Most of us are still young, and even if you are in love, you still have to have an independent mind set to maintain a healthy relationship. A woman must be able to breath alone before she can say she is ready to fully commit to a man, (ie.) marriage. In a relationship its OK to do sweet things for your guy...but never think that shit is set in stone just because you are putting forth effort. People change like seasons, so stay focused on making yourself a number one priority first. If you stay on the right track on an individual level, then everything else while fall into place simultaneously. Yet, love is a beautiful thing, and even in loving yourself...it always great to love him too.

Music Spotlight: Kid Cudi

Verse 1]
Day and night (what, what)
I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind, mind (what, what)
I look for peace but see I don't attain (what, what)
What I need for keeps this silly game we play .. play
Now look at this (what, what)
Madness to magnet keeps attracting me, me (what, what)
I try to run but see I'm not that fast (what, what)
I think I'm first but surely finish last .. last

[Chorus]
Cause day and night (day and night)
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night (night, night)
He's all alone, through the day and night (day and night)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night (day and night)
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night (night, night)
He's all alone some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

[Verse 2]
Hold the phone (what, what)
The lonely stoner, mr. solo dolo (what, what)
He's on the move can't seem to shake the shade (what, what)
Within his dreams he see's the life he made .. made
The pain is deep (what, what)
A silent sleeper you won't hear a peep, peep (what, what)
The girl he wants don't seem to want him too (what, what)
It seems the feelings that she had are through .. through

[Chorus]
Cause day and night (day and night)
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night (night, night)
He's all alone, through the day and night (day and night)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night (day and night)
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night (night, night)
He's all alone some things will never change (yea) (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind (yea) at night (at, at, yea at night)

[Verse 3]
Slow-mo (what, what)
When the temple slows up and creates that new, new (what, what)
He seems alive though he is feeling blue (what, what)
The sun is shining man he's super cool, cool
The lonely nights (what, what)
They fade away he slips into his white nike's (what, what)
He smokes a clip and then he's on the way (what, what)
To free his mind in search of
To free his mind in search of
To free his mind in search of

[Chorus]
Day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night (night, night)
He's all alone, through the day and night (day and night)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night (day and night)
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night (night, night)
He's all alone some things will never change (never change)
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night, night)

At, at, at night (night)

Na, na, na, na, na, na
Kid Cudi

Summer 2009----What's hot?

Its already apparent that this summer is going to be be blazing! Its also very ironic that most of the summer fashions provided by high class designers are incorporating tons of layers and draping. This season is all about loose like and flowy clothing, fitted to certain parts of the woman. Even though the temperature isn't yielding, loose clothes arent always that bad, especially if you shouldn't be showing some of your "overgrown' assets. Stay tuned...

Umm..I guess

So I was sort of a Danity Kane fan or whatever...and as you all know they broke up over some unecessary bs. Recently I was watching the season finale of Making the Band 3 and was laughin at how D. Woods played herself! When asked about the problems that surfaced, and the break up of the group, D. woods got all defensive. Like on her solo tip she is the best thing going. I hate when people are the reason for a problem and they try to fix the situation by putting all the shine on themselves. Ugh, D. Woods your not that hot...

My teacher asked me to write something about issues as a result of my ethnicity...this is what I spit out

The blood runs through my veins, of those who know the feeling of being enslaved and held captive, unsure about the future, wondering why they have been subjected to such unruly and savage circumstances against their will. Events that occurred in history, a time frame going as far back as 1619 when a Dutch ship brought the first slaves from Africa to the shore of North America. My people faced existence on the border between two places, home in Africa and the new place of America that brought pain and affliction. A struggle of a people that even present day continues through a blindfold of a naïve America that believes we are all truly equal, judged only on our skills and intellect instead of our history and racial background.

I reside at a predominately white school surrounded by a percentage of the black community that is ultimately less than. I try to relate to lectures on authors and heroes of whom none look like me. A mixed father and black mother leaves me confused as to which history I should identify with, or if I can even categorize myself. The idea of binary thinking has now become an issue of race, assuming now that I am to make a choice. “You’re so light? Are you white or black?” Without effectively embracing both sides of my culture, I am constrained and therefore fit evenly into no category at all. It can seem troubling to fully embrace a white culture without leaving behind my black community that I identify with on an everyday basis. My African heritage is the only part of myself that is noticed and recorded as I try to prove myself and work to my greatest potential just to be considered. My existence in a black and white world is questioned as I am left in confusion at which box to check on my standardized test.

A feeling of ambivalence as I portray the image of an educated black female whose knowledge is only relevant if I have a silenced tongue of proper english. Participating in a conversation with a childhood friend from my hometown of Philadelphia, who says “Wassup girl” instead of “Hello madam” makes me less educated or informed about Shakespeare? Interests in the works of Toni Morrison and Sonia Sanchez leave my Italian grandmother at a loss for words, as she struggles to understand the concepts and issues facing my people. I fell optimistic about music and what songs and artists serve as a representation of my mixed background and what I believe in. As I get older my history becomes more valued, representing a piece of myself that I need to break down in order to understand the ideals and characteristics I posses.

I belong to a culture consisting of black men, who can be oblivious to their opportunities and blame misfortunes on the color of their skin instead of their nonexistence of goals and lack of hard work. This community of hope is mine, as the black man reevaluates his potential and what he can achieve when he sees someone of his own color become president. This history of slavery and banishment from white society because of his race has left the black man pessimistic about what he can truly achieve, and leaves me at a standstill wondering how far my knowledge can get me, in comparison to how far my mixed heritage will hold me back. I am stuck between two different groups of people, relating to my African heritage because I am judged solely on it. Though I see both the white and black sides of myself, society is unsure, leaving me unable to build bridges across cultures in an effectual way. The only way I can move forward is to embrace both races, leaving the negative views and feelings that society pushes toward me aside. Thinking independently will eventually allow me to be united in myself and effective in both the black and white community.

Poetry Corner: Sonia Sanchez

Personal Letter No. 3


nothing will keep
us young you know
not young men or
women who spin
their youth on
cool playing sounds.
we are what we
are what we never
think we are.
no more wild geo
graphies of the
flesh. echoes. that
we move in tune
to slower smells.
it is a hard thing
to admit that
sometimes after midnight
i am tired
of it all.

Tips for the First date...

1. First Impressions always matter. Make an effort to look your very best, you want to give him long lasting thoughts to remember you by. Go out that morning and pamper yourself, that way if the date is a total bust at least you will feel good.

2. Make sure he is respectful. Nine times out of ten the way he treats you on your first date is the best he can be at his prime before he gets seriously involved with you and problems begin to arise. Make sure he opens the door, compliments you, and has meaningful conversation.

3. Be suspect of a player. Even from the beginning you have to keep your eyes open for signs of a guy who is reluctant to commit and is still diggin the party life. Depending on where you are mentally in your own situation, you might not want to subject yourself to another episode of hide and seek with another man. Try and spare yourself the drama.

4. Don't let your friends meet him at first. Your girlfriends can be the toughest critics sometimes, maybe they just want the best for you. They can dismiss a man as soon as he gets in your door, diminishing all your hopes for a good date let alone a future relationship. In situations like these it's always good to have a mind of your own. Your own personal taste in men may not be everybody else's twist.

5. Avoid conversation about the EX-factor.Try to stay away from asking each other questions about previous relationships. Yeah its good to get a feel for a man' s past, but who really cares? You are up to bat now and it's a whole new game. Try to impress him on what you have to offer instead of trying to compare yourself to his ex by asking millions of questions.

The Real Housewives of...

Im really irritated by these shows about rich women who have no problems what so ever. I thought I was just annoyed by the white version of the show, because I hate when white america shows off how effotlessley they get money. Yet still, Houswives of Atlanta was just a minor step up showing black people with money that didnt have anything better to do than argue. I mean come on, all the ladies on that show im sure have hot over the top careers and instead of going into depth on that, all we saw was the arguein and name calling. So how bout we scratch all this reality television about rich people and show some real people. Lets see the single mother, the struggling college student, the newleywed, the woman who just landed her first career. No, I guess nobody wants to watch real accomplisments on television...the unreal world of money and drama is more entertaining :)

LOVE it <3

Yea, call me corny, but have you all seen the new headbands with the bows on them? I'm in love. I dig simplicity and I like how this simple accessory can make you whole hairstyle look so cute, plus they are so cheap. It might not be your twist, but check them out.

"Got a man that I think I'm gon love forever..."

As you already know I love to dish my opinion on relationships, and have yet to hold my tongue on what I believe makes up a good one vs. a broken down one. NO relationship will last past the routine flowers, couple texts, and finally the bedroom, unless you guys have developed a good friendship. You cannot keep a man or a woman for that matter unless you know what makes them tick, their goals, desires. If you lack depth no man has any reason to keep you around because you just aren't that interesting and you have nothing to offer that he cant find somewhere else. You have to connect in a relationship, there has to be that one special thing that you and him share in common that nobody else could possibly understand. When you guys are together, you are "together" and nobody can break that bond. Listen to me, I swear, if you haven't realized it yet then wake up and start talking to your significant other. What keeps a man from cheating on you (most of the time) is the fact that he knows in the back of his mind that you are a jem, irreplaceable and he would hate to see his precious gift being handed off to the next dude with the bigger salary. Build a friendship and stay confident even if your not. In addition, nothing turns a man off more then a weak woman, so don't get stepped on and think that your making moves in your situation, your not...and its less than cute. Ladies I like to spit knowledge, but believe that I take my advice and have learned from mistakes. Build a friendship, it will make your relationship much more meaningful when you can connect with your man on more than 1 level. Love hard...

Music spotlight: Keri Hilson

Heh.. not again..
Ohh.. this ain’t supposed to happen to me..

[Kanye West]
Keep rockin, and keep knockin
Whether you Louie Vouitonn it up or Reebokin
You see the hate, that they’re servin on a platter
So what we gon’ have - dessert or disaster?

[Keri Hilson]
I never thought I’d.. be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in.. and knocked me on my face
Feels like in I’m a race
but I already won first place

I never thought I’d fall for you as hard as I did
(as hard as I did, yeah)
You got me thinkin bout our life our house and kids (yeah)
Every mornin I look at you and smile
cause boy you came around and you knocked me down.. knocked me down

[Chorus]
Sometimes love comes around
(love comes around love comes around)
and it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(love comes around)
and it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(knocks you down)

[Ne-Yo]
I never thought Id
hear myself say (ooh)
Ya’ll gon head
I think I’m gonna kick it wit my girl today (kick it wit my girl today)
I used to be commander and chief
of my pimp ship flyin high (flyin high)
til i met this pretty little missile that shot me out the sky (ohhh shot me out the sky)

Hey, now Im crashing, don’t know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could back, and make it happen faster
Don’t you know I would baby if I could
Miss independent (ohh, to the fullest), the load never too much
she helpin me pull it
she shot the bullet that ended that life
I swear to u the pimp in me just died tonight,
girl sometimes love

[Keri Hilson]

[Chorus]
Sometimes love comes around
(love comes around)
and it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(love comes around)
and it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(knocks you down)

[Kanye West]
Tell me now can you make it past your caspers
So we can finally fly off into NASA
you was always the cheerleader of my dreams that
seem to only date the head of football teams
and I was the class clown that, always kept you laughin
We, were never meant to be baby we just happen
so please, don’t mess up the trick.. hey young world I’m the new slick rick
they say I move too quick, but we can't let the moment pass us
Let the hourglass pass right into ashes
let the wind blow the ash right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
How could a goddess ask, someone that’s only average
For advice
OMG, you listen to that bitch?
Whoa it’s me
Baby this is tragic
Cause we had it, we was magic


I was flyin, now I’m crashin
this is bad, real bad, michael jackson
now I’m mad, real mad, joe jackson
you should leave your boyfriend now, Imma ask him

[Keri Hilson]
Say u gotta put the good with the bad, happy and the sad
So will u bring a better future than I had in the past
oh Cause, I don’t wanna make the same mistakes I did
I don’t wanna fall back on my face again
Whoaa, whoaaa
I’ll admit it, I was scared to answer love's call
Whoaa, whoaaa
and if it hits better make it worth the fall

(When it comes around)

[Chorus]
Sometimes love comes around
(love comes around)
and it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(love comes around)
and it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(knocks you down)

Won’t see it coming when it happens (hey)
but when it happens you’re gonna feel it, let me tell you now
you see when love knocks you down

Won’t see it coming when it happens
but when it happens you’re gonna feel it, let me tell you now
you see when love knocks you down
yeah

Curves are back!

“I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.” -Mae West, sex symbol

If your breaking your neck in efforts to try and remove your booty, you might not want to be so persistent just yet. Hollywood's A-list icons are starting to embrace their curves, and have made the idea of the "average" woman sexy. More than half of the women in the world have natural curves, and stress daily about how they will never ever be able to fit into that size 2. I say, "why bother"? Start to love yourself for you and your new found confidence will bring you the attention you desire from all walks of life.

Why Give it up so Easy?

The HIV epidemic is spreading faster and faster among young women and men, even more prevalent among the black community. Young people are growing up faster then they should, and are engaging in sexual activity before their bodies and minds have even fully developed. Why are so many females giving up their bodies so easily? I have come to fully realize that many women think having sex with a man right off the bat will make him eventually want to be committed in a serious relationship. They engage in these actions out of fear of seeming "out of touch" with their femininity and being perceived as immature. The truth is, abstaining from sex when venturing into a relationship with a new guy will make him want to hang around longer because you have something to offer aside from your body. Tease him with your intellect and your style instead of your physical features, because those assets aren't so easily accessible to a man for a couple of dollars. If you subject yourself to being tossed around like a treat, no man will ever take you seriously outside of the bedroom. Nowadays playing wife around his house in skimpy lingerie isn't enough, you have to have your own. Don't get used. If you choose to be physical use protection, because sometimes a man's word is just that, him talking... Until you say you can fully trust you relationship 100%, always protect your body, it's you're right<3

My obsession...

So when I'm not bombarded with schoolwork, I like to go out and get dressed up. My favorite thing to do in preparation for a night out on the town is to apply my makeup. Remember, less is more, so I tend to just apply a little here and there to enhance certain features. My makeup obsession has to be eyeliner and mascara. These two ingredients if done with care can make your eyes pop, leaving your face looking seductive and confident. Lately I have ditched my eyeshadow and have chosen a more natural approach just using the eyeliner, making a wing-tipped design right over the eye. It draws attention to your face, but not so much that you look over done.

Please be productive!

Many of us are well into our college careers with hopes of future success in our desired fields. Yet, many of us also party our days away, spend hours on facebook, and wait until the last minute to produce our major schoolwork. How can you expect to graduate on time and achieve a career in a reasonable time period if you haven't passed any of your classes? Its ok to have fun from time to time, but college loans don't stretch forever, and the parties aren't as lavish when your surrounded by young children. Be productive and use your time wisely.

Discrimination within your own race?

African Americans have a history in which we were enslaved, looked down upon, and thought to be less than. Through years of struggling and having to work harder than the next Caucasian person, we have begun to embark on a new history that is projected to be full of new goals and aspirations that will put our race in the limelight. Still, an issue that remains close to my heart is that topic of skin color in relation to "complexion" among the black community. It seems ironic, yet African Americans, mostly in unawareness, are subjecting people of their own race to discrimination as we categorize eachother by "light skin" and "dark skin". I find this issue to be more relevant among black women who believe that either one or the other side of the spectrum has it better as a black woman. Light skin females are depicted as being snobbish and having the "advantage" as a black women trying to make a living in a white oriented society. Dark skinned woman on the other hand are seen as being the strong and determined woman who has yet to fall short of anything but success. The media has taken the issue even farther depicting black women in America who have issues with skin shade. How can we have come so far through history and still be so lost in our own prejudice, self conscious, and thoughts? In what world can we subject our own people to stereotypes and think that another race wont see us as anything but inferior? This grouping among the black community, whether we realize it or not, brings us farther away from each other giving us the disadvantage in a society full of white men and women who are members of a strong knit public. Think about what I'm saying. How can the black community become better than we already are, if we cant even effectively converse with our own sister? Its baffling...


"School Daze"

J Crew

With Michelle Obama being looked at so closely for her fashion choices, I was curious about her frequent shopping at J Crew. The store actually has very cute and flowy clothes that make you feel pretty and neatly put together.